Our life now

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Wow what a day that was indeed! James Spann had been warning us for days that this storm system was serious and that it was going to be bad but I had no clue just how bad it was going to be!!! I woke up that morning to thunderstorms and straight line winds and I thought wow those weather dudes must've had the time off or something but NO that was only the pre-show! Due to that first storm the power was out at my Pawpaw's house, PGES, and my mom's office and so the kids came home first about 930 am or so and then my mom thought it would be best to bring my Pawpaw to our house since we still had power. (That in itself was God ordained) So I sat and watched James Spann talk about this storm system and all of these bad signs that were big indicators of a huge tornado. Well if you know me then you already know that I'm the 'type' of momma that puts my boys in the basement if there is a tornado in T-town, literally. It makes my brother super mad when I do that LOL!!! But now all I can say is that all that practice paid off buddy! Anyways, I was really super scarred but didn't want to totally freak my kids out but deep down I just knew something big was about to happen and as selfish as it is I prayed that it would hit another community. (terrible I know) but honest. I saw the tornado live on abc 33/40 in Tuscaloosa on the ground headed straight in our direction. Usually tornadoes take the path thru Oak Grove and like up the river and then maybe over to Graysville or somewhere like that but this time when James Spann said it was coming in WEST of Oak Grove and it would be in PG at 5:54 pm and that in all of his 32 years of doing weather he had never seen anything like it I knew we were going to take a direct hit and I was soooooooooooo freakin' scarred. So we got my Pawpaw downstairs and put a motorcycle helmet on him and bascially that's all I could do for him besides pray and believe me I'd been praying all day! Then I put motorcycle helmets on both of my boys, put pillows over them and literally layed my body on top of them. I had to be real with them and so I said "listen boys, this is the real deal, ok? I need you to hold on to me with everything in you if you feel something sucking you out of the house. I told them WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LET GO b/c I knew the only way I was going to let go was if I was dead. So of course Jalen was screaming, Elijah is praying "God please send your angels, send your angels.....over and over he prayed this...as I at the top of lungs was pleading the Blood of Jesus over my family, praying Ps 91 over all of us and commanding thousands of angels to surround our home! All of a sudden the rain stopped, the wind stopped and for a quick second I though wow thank you Lord we dodged the bullet but then I heard this loud roar like something I've NEVER heard before and I knew it was here and that's when we begin to hear horrible sounds of things breaking and hitting the house but as soon as it hit it was gone! I immediately made sure my babies were ok and they were (THANK YOU GOD) b/c if you know me then you know that in my spirit I was already pleading with God that if one of us had to die on that day take me but please don't take my babies, and He honored that prayer on that day or more like He wasn't ready to take us home yet. So anyways after I was assured that my family was ok and just hysterical....I put on my rain boots and headed toward the front door......well it was blocked by about 10 trees.......head to the back door, same thing.....I finally got out thru our basement and I could hear people yelling for help. It's something that I hope I never have to experience again.

You know even as an adult I questioned God about somethings that happened that evening like why he took the mother of a 7 week old baby who had prayed hard for this precious baby and now she's gone.....or why did a woman who worked with our children everyday have to die and leave her 3 babies but you know what simply put....He's God and He has His plans for our lives from day 1 of conception (Jeremiah 1:5 and Jeremiah 29:11)and so after asking for God to forgive me for acting so angry toward Him in that moment I begin to see things happening in my community that I hadn't seen before. So as my boys asked me "Mom, why did God let this happen"....after asking God to give me wisdom because I was just as clueless as my 10 and 6 year old as to why it happened this is what he guided me to say to them. Sometimes things like this that are bad happen and we don't understand why and it seems so pointless but in actuality it is all part of God's perfect plan. He wasn't caught off guard when this huge monster ripped thru our community....no not at all.....matter of fact I know He was right there with us waiting for us to run to Him. I feel like God has shown me many numerous reasons as to why we all had to go thru this but the main two that stand out to me are: 1) it's brought people of all races, religion, nationalities, etc together and 2) it has given Christians an opportunity to share the love of Christ to non-believers who otherwise may have never experienced the Love of Our Savior.
I hate that so many people have lost everything they own and even some of them their lives but I know that God is still God and He's still on the throne. He's in control and He will get the glory from all of this one day.

LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL!
RACHAEL

Thursday, April 7, 2011

WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE THEY THINKIING TAKING GOD OUT OF OUR SCHOOLS?!?!

SO JALEN AND I HAVE HAD ALOT OF CONVERSATIONS ABOUT STUFF GOING ON AT SCHOOL THAT HE IS WITNESSING ON A DAILY BASIS. HE'S ONLY 10 YEARS OLD IN THE 4TH GRADE AND AS BAD AS I WANTED TO THINK HE WAS MAKING IT UP OR EXAGGERATING ABOUT A SITUATION I KNEW IN MY GUT THAT HE WAS TELLING THE WHOLE TRUTH AND IT BROKE MY HEART. HE'S DEALING WITH STUFF THAT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT UNTIL HIGHSCHOOL OR LATER. SOME OF THESE KIDS ARE BRINGING DRUGS TO SCHOOL, CUSSING, AND ARE VERY MEAN! THEY ALSO LIKE TO PEE AND WRITE BAD THINGS ON THE BATHROOM STALLS. SO NOW B/C OF THIS CRAZY WORLD WE LIVE IN MY 10 YEAR OLD KNOWS ABOUT SEX, DRUGS, ALCOHOL, ETC.....I'VE BEEN PRAYING ABOUT IT B/C I HONESTLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO B/C I KNOW THAT THE TEACHERS AND ADMINISTRATION ALREADY HAVE SO MUCH TO DEAL WITH. SO LAST NIGHT WHEN WE WERE TALKING AND JALEN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT WHAT ALL SO AND SO HAD SAID AND DONE I JUST TOLD HIM ALL I KNEW TO TELL HIM AND THAT WAS TO NEVER EVER EVER COMPROMISE YOUR BELIEFS. I TOLD HIM THAT HE KNOWS RIGHT FROM WRONG AND I WAS PROUD OF HIM FOR COMING FORWARD BUT IT STILL DOESN'T 'HELP' THE SITUATION. THEY'VE HAD THE DRUG DOGS UP THEIR AT LEAST 2 TIMES THIS YEAR FOR DRUGS AND I'M JUST AMAZED. I STAYED UP LATE AFTER THE KIDS WENT TO BED AND I JUST PRAYED FOR GOD TO GUIDE MY TONGUE AND HELP ME TO SAY WHAT HE WANTS JALEN TO HEAR FROM HIM.

JALEN WAS GOING ON A FIELD TRIP TODAY AND HAD TO BE AT THE SCHOOL AT 6:45 SO IT WAS JUST US IN THE CAR AND WE BEGAN TO TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN AND I KID YOU NOT THIS IS WHAT CAME OUT OF MOUTH..."JALEN GOD CREATED YOU TO BE DIFFERENT, TO STAND OUT IN A DYING WORLD..HE DOES WANT YOU TO SHOW HIS KIND OF LOVE BUT FROM A DISTANCE. JUST REMEMBER TO NEVER SACRIFICE TO BE COOL AND BE LIKE 'EVERYBODY' ELSE BUT STAND OUT AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE". MY MOUTH WAS ON THE FLOOR B/C THAT WAS NOT ME IT WAS GOD B/C I HAD NOT EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT THAT ASPECT OF BEING A CHRISTIAN. I AM SO VERY SAD THAT OUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN ARE HEARING ALL THIS REALLY BAD STUFF BUT ON THE OTHER HAND I'M GLAD THAT JALEN IMMEDIATELY KNEW IT WAS WRONG AND NOT OF JESUS.

LET'S PRAY FOR OUR CHILDREN B/C I'M TELLING YOU IT'S ONLY GONNA GET WORSE! AND JUST AS I SHARED WITH JALEN EVEN ONE (WHAT MAY SEEM LIKE IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL) COMPROMISE COULD CHANGE OUR LIVES IN AN INSTANT. WE BETTER ALL BE ON GUARD AND WATCH WHAT AND WHO WE LET INTO OUR LIVES B/C LIKE THE WORD SAYS THE THEIF COMES TO KILL, STEAL, AND DESTROY AND HE WANTS OUR CHILDREN!!!!! AND HE'S A VERY SLICK DEVIL!!!

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE VERSES IN THE BIBLE BUT FITS THIS SITUATION TO A TEE...
BEFORE I FORMED YOU IN THE WOMB I KNEW YOU, BEFORE YOU WERE BORN I SET YOU APART, I APPOINTED YOU AS A PROPHET TO THE NATIONS. JEREMIAH 1:5

DO NOT BE AFRAID OF THEM, FOR I AM WITH YOU AND WILL RESCUE YOU, DECLARES THE LORD. JEREMIAH 1:8

I FIND PEACE IN KNOWING THAT THE GOD I SERVE HAS GOT THIS AND HE WILL CONTINUE TO PROTECT MY BOYS! DEVIL YOU CAN'T HAVE MY BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Welcome

So I am starting a new blog obviously! If you had my other blog listed you can delete it b/c I am not that same old person any more which explains the new blog. I hope that people can see Jesus and His love through my words on here. I was bound up in drugs for 12 years and man what bondage but God delivered me and here's one of the best things is that He is NO RESPECTER of persons so what He's done in my life He will surely do for you to. I will be posted my entire testimony on here soon so keep a look out for that so that you can see just what all my God did in my life!

God Speed!
Rachael

My testimony

I grew up in a christian home with Godly parents and was never around drugs or alcohol until I was a teenager. I drank here and there starting at about the age of 14. Then when I was about 16 or so I smoked marijuna for the first time. Thru out my teenage years I wanted to be in the cool group so I compromised alot of things. Those morals that had been instilled in me as a child never crossed my mind. At the age of 21 I was introduced to Lortabs by a boyfriend and immediately became addicted. At first though it wasn't a real big problem because I only took them on the weekends and I could walk away from them with no problem. However by the age of 23 I was pregnant with my first child, Jalen. After he was born his father left us and I was all alone and begin to use Lortabs more frequently. Because of my choice of lifestyle I put myself in many dangerous situations and was raped a few times and became a very angry and lost woman. By the age of 28 I was pregnant with my second child, Elijah and still unmarried. In August of 2003 I received some devestating news that sent me into a downward spiral real fast. To cope with all the pain I had built up inside of me I begin to take Lortabs everyday. That was all I cared about from the time I got up until the time I went to bed. When Elijah was about 1 month old my mom discovered my addiction and took me to a psych ward to try to get me some help. However I didn't want help so therefore I didn't get any help. I stayed in the psych ward for 24 hours and then called my dad to come and get me. We were all searching on getting help and my parents who had never had to deal with anything like this were just as lost as me basically. That morning that my dad picked me up from the hospital we went to the methadone clinic to see if they could help me. I remember pulling up into the parking lot and people were literally jumping out of their cars and running inside of the building. So me and my dad meet with one of the workers there and she was giving us the information we needed and was about to get me starting on a 'treatment plan'. However the director of the clinic asked if she could talk to us for a few minutes so I knew she was going to probably just tell us about the cost and answer our questions. Little did I know that Jesus had intervened right then on the spot. The director of that clinic who's job is to 'sell' the product so she can get her money sat me down and began to talk to me and I was in total shock at what I was hearing. Basically she told me that I didn't want to take this path b/c I would probably never be able to come off of the methadone and even admitted to me and my dad that basically it was just one drug replacing another so therefore it wasn't going to get me off of drugs. So we left and came back home. I promised my parents that I wouldn't do drugs ever again and that I had learned my lesson but I had no idea just how big my problem was at that time. I begin to steal tons of money and other things from my parents to support my habit and I didn't care that we didn't have any food to eat and was about to be homeless b/c all I cared about was ME ME ME. I had no conscience at all and I always would blame everybody else for me being on drugs instead of taking ownership of my problem. This went on for about 12 years and I wanted so bad to be a 'normal' family again but I had done so many bad things to my family that none of them wanted to even be around me. They loved me b/c I was their daughter and sister but they didn't like me. By about October of 2009 I wanted so badly to not be a druggie and not continue to disappoint my family everyday that I began to try to take my own life. The devil had me convinced that if I was just out of the picture they could go own and have a decent life. How selfish was I???? By December 2009 after my 4th attempt of suicide my brother and sister stepped in and did what my mom just couldn't bear to do. They told me that I HAD to get help or they were threw with me. My sister mentioned Alabama Teen Challenge but when I found out that it was a year long program I was adament that I was NOT going away from my kids for a year. What sense did that make...I was willing to leave them forever but not go and get help for a year! Crazy! So one night I began to pray and I asked God that if it was mean't for me to go to Teen Challenge that I wanted Him to send me a sign to let me know. And boy did he ever........not even 24 hours later my mom who doesn't even normally answer the phone at her job b/c she cleans teeth she's not the receptionist just happened to be up at the desk and saw on the caller id "Alabama Teen Challenge" so she answered. On the other end of the line was a student who was simply calling to make a dental appointment. So my mom and her began to talk and she shared about how much Jesus had used ATC to save her life and that I definitely needed to come. So my mom having no idea of my prayer to God the night before calls me up and begins to tell me about her conversation with this girl about ATC. I didn't even say anything to her I just hung up the phone b/c right then I knew that was my sign and I was mad about it. So on January 6, 2010 I entered the program not for me but b/c I felt like my family was forcing me to go but deep down inside I knew I was in the right place. During my time there I struggled very bad b/c even though I was on drugs I had never physically left my boys and it was killing me to be away from them. Here I was in the middle of no where with a bunch of women that I didn't know and all I had was Jesus. But that's ALL I needed. After a few weeks when I finally said ok God I'm willing to accept your help if you are still willing to help me and immediately I felt like a prisoner that had been set free. God began to show me things on a daily basis and I began to see just how bad off and how close to death I really was. But what really got my attention was my first Wednesday night there a group from Freedom Ministries came to do chapel with us and the preacher who had no clue who I was or what a mess I had made of my life called me out and this is what he said to me. "The devil has been trying to take you out for years and he almost did. But it's not about you anymore the devil wants your kids now he wants to take your spot and if you sit back and go back to your old life that's just what he will do." I got so angry at satan at that point b/c I saw him and his scams for what they really were. I got out of the program in August 2010 and on January 6, 2011 I celebrated my one year of being drug free. I am amazed at how much God has done for me. The relationships with my family that I had destroyed God has restored them back to me. But most of all He spared my life and He didn't have to do that for me but He did and I'm so thankful. I can tell you this though that I firmly believe that it was because of my mom's prayers that God answered that I'm able to tell you about this on today. She NEVER NEVER NEVER gave up on me. I would beg her to please stop praying for me so I could sleep at night and she would just say no Rachael you are my babygirl and I will NEVER stop praying for you. It has been a long hard road that I made for myself and it's a daily struggle to stay clean but I refuse to give up my spot to satan and I know that I know that God has a huge purpose for me and I'm ready for it! If you are reading this and you have an addiction of any kind don't think you are in a hopeless situation b/c God is no respector of persons and what He did for me He will do for you as well but you do have to be willing to submit and let Him work in you. If you are a parent of a child with an addiction please don't ever give up on them and keep praying b/c even when it seems like your prayers are not being heard let me just tell you that God hears each and every one of them and He will in time give you your desires. As of today I am so thankful to be able to still be with my children and be their mommy and to have my family back. Jesus is ALL powerful and there is NO mountain to high for Him you just have to keep the faith. God bless you!